LFH-Excerpt #2

Jan. 5, 1959

Momma,

Grand Myra is getting on my nerves! She getting on Mama Louise nerves, too! She thinks she is everybody boss. She fusses at Uncle Reesie and Auntie Rose and everybody for no reason! 

She tells everybody what to do like she they momma. Mama Louise say she better not tell her nothing! She better “jest” stay out of her way!  That’s what Mama Louise says, and she means it! (Her eyes get real big when she says it).

Grand Myra better not fuss at me neither, cause she not my boss. She her own boss!

Momma, can Grand Myra go home, now? You’re gone, so she can go, too. I wish you can tell her it’s alright for her to GO HOME! 

I miss you, momma. I do, I do, I do! Auntie Rose says I’m going to see you today at your funeral. I’m glad, momma. I miss you so much. I really want to see you. I hope you can see me, too. Try, ok? Try to see me.

I got to go put my clothes on, now. 

I love you, momma. 

See you later alligator…

I HATE funerals. I HATE funerals. I HATE FUNERALS! I’m not going to NO MORE funerals in my whole life! NEVER NO MORE!

Momma, everybody say it’s YOUR funeral, but I didn’t see YOU. I told them the lady in the treasure box was NOT YOU. They put ugly, white powder on her face! And they put ugly RED lipstick on her mouth. You don’t put on red lipstick, momma. You put on PINK lipstick. Everybody knows that! And it’s pretty on your mouth. The RED lipstick is UGLY!

Ugly! Ugly! UGLY!

And the lady in the treasure box looks like…like the big grey things…like in the cemetery.

(Wait a minute. Uncle Reese is telling me something.)

Uncle Reese says it’s a statue. That’s what I was trying to say. Yep, like a statue. Like in the cemetery. Not like a person. Not like YOU!

I was crying a whole lot because they keep saying it’s you, and it’s NOT you. Mama Louise says I was getting historical, and she took me outside where the cars is! She thinks it’s you, too. 

Momma, doesn’t Mama Louise know you when she see you no more?  Doesn’t Uncle Reesie? Doesn’t Grand Myra? Doesn’t nobody? They make me scared saying it’s you when it’s NOT you! They scare me, momma.

Tyler hold my hand and tell me don’t be scared. He says the lady in the treasure box is not you if I say so. He says I know you when I see you because you’re my momma, not nobody else’s. He makes me feel better. 

Tyler is my best friend in the whole wide world. He never be scared.  He never be scared of anything!

Sara Paris says he can spend the night at my house if it makes me feel better. It does make me feel better. It makes me feel a whole lot better. 

I don’t like funerals, momma. I don’t want to go no more. Ok? But, I like my pretty white dress Mama Louise made me. She bought me a crinoline slip to wear under it, too. Its makes a lot of noise when I sit down. Like a potato chip bag. Like it’s crunching all the potato chips!

I keep sitting down and standing up, sitting down and standing up. I like for it to keep making noise.

I’m glad you’re not in the treasure box, momma. I’m glad YOU’RE in HEAVEN. Because that’s where good people go. You told me that!

Mama Louise says, It’s NOT a treasure box. She ask me why I keep calling it a treasure box for?

I say, It is a treasure box. I saw one in Tyler’s Treasure Hunt book. It was a little one with lots of treasure in it. I know a treasure box when I see one.

Mama Louise says, You so right, Missy Lady…you so right. And she gives me a great big hug and kiss!

Momma, they put the treasure box in the ground with the lady in it.  Mama Louise says that’s what they do with GOOD people. They bury them in the ground. Like TREASURE. She says bad people get pine boxes (She whisper in my ear so Uncle Reesie can’t hear her). She’s tired of him giving her the evil eye every time she says something (She whisper that in my ear, too!).

Grand Myra gives her the EVIL eye a lot. (That’s what Mama Louise calls it). 

Grand Myra says Niggras shouldn’t be at white folks funerals making scenes like that. Mama Louise looks at Grand Myra like she said a bad word.  (Mama Louise doesn’t like nobody to call her a Niggra. She says it’s not in the dictionary and it’s not a word).

Mama Louise says ain’t no NIGGRAS at no funeral that she can see!  Only, ignorant white folks with a stick up there butt!

I laughed and EVERYBODY gave me the evil eye! Not Tyler! He never gives me the evil eye. He’s my best friend! I covered my mouth with my hands so they couldn’t hear me laugh.

Grand Myra turned real red. She says real mean to Mama Louise, There are mirrors in the bathroom for one to see if they are a Niggra or not! (Grand Myra always talk fancy and proper). 

Mama Louise says, There is some toilets in the bathroom if somebody needs to wash the blue out their hair or not!  And, Everybody knows I’s good at washing!

I think Mama Louise was going to HIT Grand Myra! Her eyes got real BIG and she start shaking real bad, Mama Louise did!  She made a big, fat fist and Uncle Reesie start pulling her away. Real FAST. He says, Mama Louise, I think this might be a good time for that shot of Scotch you’ve been talking about! He hold her hand all the way to the car. Real tight!

Momma, I don’t think Grand Myra like for Mama Louise to like me. She always give us the evil eye when we be laughing and playing. But, she don’t like to laugh and play with me herself. She don’t like nobody to play with me. She just like for me to be quiet.

I wish Grand Myra like me like Mama Louise do. But, it’s ok. Mama Louise likes me and Uncle Reesie likes me, and lots of people like me. Specially, Tyler. He likes me a whole lot. He says he’s going to be my pretend big brother from now on! I like that a lot!

 I think Grand Myra is not my REAL grandma, anyway. I think the stork bird gave me the WRONG grandma! I hope Grand Myra get a REAL granddaughter one day. Then she can be nice to her. Like Mama Louise is NICE to me.

It’s ok if you’re not in the treasure box, momma. I can see you when I go to heaven. Ok? 

Goodnight, momma. Missy says Goodnight, too. And, Tyler.

I love you, Momma,

I love you forever,

Geli-bean